May 11th, 4 hour Derby 101 class: Although I am thoroughly enjoying training to be a Vixen and learning how to skate (I was brand new at skating) I did NOT want to be there. My mind was elsewhere, but I didn’t let that stop me. I showed up, laced up and hit the rink. LITERALLY!!! I hit the rink and fell more times on this day than I ever have with ALL 5 sessions combined and it wasn’t even 2hrs into class!!! We were doing a couple drills and as I was completing the 2nd obstacle, I fell AGAIN!!! This time was different though; I swear the rink LITERALLY started beating ALL the emotions and thoughts out of me through tears. I didn’t feel any physical pain (until later, haha); I just wanted to crawl off into a hole and hang out there for a while.

As I crawled away, several people were asking if I was ok; I couldn’t see who through the tears, I just gave a thumbs up with my head hanging down. I was looking for that hole to crawl into but I couldn’t see that hole, just a wall. Out of nowhere there were 2 people there, 2 teammates, 2 sisters to help me up and see what was really going on — if I needed a EMT or a shoulder to lean on. They both knew exactly what it was like to have this kind of day in derby and they were there to share with me kind words and helpful thoughts, wisdom, and the fact that it was absolutely ok to fall apart and that they would be there to help me put it together and continue.

After the tears were wiped I joined the rest of the group for the next activity. The rest of the session was good! Then the BEAR CRAWLS came…. This was one of the most difficult things in Derby for me yet! After 4hrs on my skates, busting butt, falling, sweating, smelly, they wanted me to do WHAT?!?!?!? So I did! I was one of the people who were behind, but those two sisters were there beside me just the same helping cheer me forward. Both hands had ripped open, one was even bleeding, but we went forth and completed what was asked of us. We completed this as a team, a group, a sisterhood (with one brother!) and we did it together!!

This day was the most brutal day for me so far. But on this day, we did things I was horrible at as well as ROCKED OUT!!!! The good and the bad. Although I knew this prior it stood out to me and smacked me in the face that day: you will be good at things, but you wont be good at everything. There is ALWAYS something to work on. You may fail and that is ok as long as you get up and don’t give up. You also need to celebrate the victories — that’s important. There are also teammates there with you and for you. We are accomplishing this as a group, not just an individual.

Thank you to all the people there for me on that day and in the times that we have to come!! We’ve got this together!!

~Tara~

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